Know Thyself (How to Know Yourself)

“Know Thyself”  It wasn’t a voice, but I heard it clearly.  As soon as I sat up in bed one morning, I heard “Know Thyself”.

– Know thyself? Know myself? How do I know myself? –  I thought to myself, but I went on my normal life that day.

It was almost 2 years ago.  It was difficult to know myself than I thought. I only found what is not myself.  I was not what I thought I was and I was not what others thought I was.

I’ve learned a few things since then.  First, I had to let go of what I thought I knew.  My mind had difficult time letting go of some beliefs accumulated over the years.  All judgments came to my mind from my experiences.  Some beliefs were not even mine, but I adopted from someone else (my parents, teachers, friends, society, TV, etc.) along the way without realizing it.

In order to know myself, I had to ask a lot of questions to myself.  When I get upset, I ask – Why am I so upset? What is it bothering me so much? What is triggering me? –  When I feel negative emotions from something or someone, I ask – Why is it so bad? – then ask against my own answer – If it is true, what does it mean to me? –

I realized I could find my hidden beliefs through my emotions.  Asking questions against my negative emotions can lead me to the root cause of the negative emotions.  It was not the person or situation that causes my negative emotions.  They just triggered something inside of me.  I found out most of them (if not all) are from my childhood.  My parents used to encourage me to study, so they kept telling me, “If you studied a little harder you could get better score.”  I don’t remember any praise I receive from them.  Of course, my parents did what they thought best at that time.  But as a child, I started to believe that I was not good enough and I always had to work harder to get their love and praise.  That became my core belief.  I found many core beliefs like this.  Financially… in relationship… everything I interact with outer world is made of those core beliefs.  And many of those were detrimental to me.

I see many people stuck in their own beliefs like myself.  Beliefs do not have to be the same as others and you can change your beliefs.  I decided to choose beliefs that beneficial to me.  I started getting it now why that voice said to know myself.  By knowing myself, I can find my core beliefs, and I can change the core beliefs to beneficial ones instead of detrimental ones.

I think I touched only surface.  Like an onion, after peeling a skin of onion another skin comes up.  Getting deep. 🙂

contemporary surreal painting LIGHT by Masako

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